I’m staring at a wide eyed everything

with a big fat block stopped halted freeze

like all my roads have been salted but I don’t wanna drive.

I just wanna sit and sulk

or maybe just stare,

                                             abyssal

and flop my jaw down

feeling significantly insolent

yet bubbling with things I could do to be more creative.

Be useful.

Be better.

Be more good.

Be more fun.

Be more sunny.

I feel the funk has struck today out

of nowhere, somewhere,

everywhere my eyes are slunk,

tired up, wired out into a lethargic ether somewhere, everywhere…

Fired connections all wanting

desire to express, to impress

but feeling suppressed and caked in corked up.

A what about and an if maybe then perhaps something.

A big old slap up meal made of pretend food.

Feeling false feeling truly false trying to feel trying to truly feel.

Trying feels false.

Feeling doesn’t try.

Feeling is.

Maybe I can just feel and it can just be that

and the heaviness can be heavy and my lagging behaviour is allowed.

Maybe I can be all cloudy today

and maybe that’s okay.